Life To Live, Live With Smile & Smile for Life « CAMBODIA MY BELOVE

Life To Live, Live With Smile & Smile for Life

part form worldpress, really good.

GorillaMask.net: Killing Productivity, Seven Days a Week

GorillaMask.net: Killing Productivity, Seven Days a Week

Girls: Danni Wells' Rude Roller Disco!

Girls: Danni Wells' Rude Roller Disco!

why... the answer

i really don't know why am i writing this... you might not get any "RAS" (LOL) out of it. may be because i try to keep u guys entertained from ma writing and i forget about meh.. SO this one's just for me, but i will feel good if you read this too.. :) and enjoY!!! i wanted to write this y'day, but suddenly lost the interest today morn. while returnin home from a Fren's place, but thts another story... ryte now i'm bored ofcourse, so may be thts why i'm writing this... anyway, i learned this life lesson y'day. may be what i learnt might be interesting to me only, but its sure is a nice thing to know. i mean the thing Called L-I-F-E !!! man it surely fucks with everybody@! what i learnt is this cruelty of LIFE, man it sux ass... there are lots of people who has a "WHOLE LOT OF PROBLEMS" over their heads bigger than anyone of us. we should consider ourself very lucky because we've got everything that they haven't and we too lack things that they have but man, what we've got is "A LOT BETTER" compaired to them, may be thats why i'm learning to appreciate the things around me, people around me, friends around me and everything around me. I learnt A BIG THING i must say, but me, same old same old, cannot put it to work for me... i just cannot use it for my good... LOLzZz yea it sux and if u try to talk about this in the future then i might say "UT-JA!! Maile kahele lekhe?" hehaha so anyway thats all i can write now, words are just not coming out from my head to my fingers. i think i'm proud of myself but i also know that it is wrong. :( tell me you're proud for meh. please! ;) tata, byebye, see you.

ഐ അം superman

I AM SUPERMAN . I AM STRONG . I AM NICE . I AM THE ONE . I AM THE ONE WHO SAVES THEM . THEY TREAT ME GOOD . GOOD IS NOT ENOUGH . I WANT MORE . I AM SUPERMAN . I AM SUPER-MAN . MY SUPERNESS IS FADING AWAY . FOR I AM LIVING AMONGST MEN . THEY MADE ME WHAT I AM . THEY TOOK MY SUPERNESS AWAY FROM ME . ALL THAT REMAIN IN ME IS MAN . A GREEDY . A LONELY . A NAIVE . AN EMOTIONAL . A CHEATER . A THIEF . A SHAMELESS . A GUILTY . A KILLER . A ROBBER . EVERYONE WHOM I USED TO SAVE OTHER PEOPLE FROM . A MAN . JUST ANOTHER MAN. I AM SUPERMAN .

today seemed nice

today seemed comparitavly nice to me.
woke up, thought of checking the internet, then saw my dad in home, so ate a LOT of food (bhat ofcourse) and washed my hair, shaved my cheeks and i'm all cheeky! lmao.
After that I changed my sim (mero), received the sms from scissorhands (classified name), she nearly woke me up at 3am my time cuz she tried to call me at 5am her time (she's in Malaysia Truely Asia) cuz she was awake studying... CAN U BELIEVE??? STUDYING TILL 5 IN THE MORN.? Damn, she must be crazy when she decided to take science, so i smsed right back from my dad's cell, not to study that long, I tried to scold her but couldn't and flirted a little insted..., our sms conversations ended when she called me her bro, i was hurt! but hey, i started it. LOL.
then Hary (Subarna) came in, fuled his Zippo and went to eat again, this time he ate a lot in Rajdhani.j/k, he just had fried rice. I just gave him company, smoked sum and went to his place. then a fren (Neeraj) came along, copied some songs, vids and pics to and from his flash voyager. Had some friendly (nepali style) agrument over Champions League final schedule, but i didn't care, cuz i dn't watch it, b'cuz they don't show on my cable, so what the hell. i was silent.
then summit called, fixed to meet at 5.30, and we did the same. we went to Whouse bakery near WHHouse Col, had tea and that bakery item i dnt know the name of and smoked sum again. went to NBDS to kill the time, checked out some T's and headed to home. And Oh, today we flagged our house with Buddha's Flag, cuz we live in Buddhanagar and they had this scheme for all the residences to put the flag for Rs.100, money ofcourse for community...and stuffs.
so today seemed pretty well than y'day. after all its just another day of life.
shit, nearly forgot! today mimi called me and wished me happy anniversary... I remembered today morn. that today was our anniv. but forgot soon after cuz i deleted it from my reminder after the alarm sounded. It was 7 in the morn.! hehe, so anyway, i feel like we've gone this far with the ups and downs of average couple, but she always made it a little bit extreme and wild. Thanks hun, u mean a lot to me and i'm hoping you're thinking the same... hehe. :p I still love you like the first day we met and like the every single day there after.
thts it till now, think i'm going to listen some metal now and eat and sleep later. like DUH! But i'm listening to Bob Marley now.
peace.

08:33 PM 05/18/08

happiness

happiness?

once was a boy who never knew anything except laugh and chat.
once was a boy who knew everything.

they both were of same age and of the same village.

as time moved on they both grew and became adults with lots of responsibilities over their heads.

first one got married, had some children did his fore-father's work and continued to live in that same village. as time passed by he became a good and responsible member of that village/society.

second one got married, left village, had some children and worked in the city. He worked hard, continued to add money to his banks, nobody knew him.

first one died one day, everybody mourned on his death and they said nicest things about him, for which he did nice things all his life. he didn't died for them.

second one died one day, nobody came to the city, nobody mourned except his wife and children, he was busy all his life so was his wife and childrens never had a good chat with their dad, so they didn't know what to say. so they never felt his love. He just died.

both of them are dead now but tell me,
who lived happily?
which one made others happy?

all i know is i want to be happy.

Zombie

Zombie

I don’t know what to write,
I’m just bored and helpless,
I can’t even type without looking at the key board,
And yet you (Subarna) talk about that job,
Sitting and typing whole night?
No, I can’t handle it.

I’m listening to the cranberries right now,
Every time I listen to it,
It reminds me of someone special,
Yes, yes it’s you and I also know that you love me more,
Currently it’s playing zombie,
What a great song that is!
Talking about the revolution, IRA I was told.

Anyhow I managed to write this long,
I just can’t believe it!

I’ll come back and writ more tomorrow here…
O wait, I found a perfect topic for this THING, Zombie.
Actually she just came here,
Closed my eyes with her cold hands soaked with detergents,
She gave me chills, coldness that is,
I think she loves me too like I love her.

Wow! That was great. I was feeling lonely,
She came, made me mad, laughed, kissed,
My loneliness gone, you know…
But now she’s gone,
It came (loneliness) back with lots of other friends,
And they are giving me trouble,

Now the song is Stars, nice song for a girl to sing,
Ha-ha, I joke sometimes,
It’s like slow ha and then ha.
Ha-ha.
But most of the time I’m the quite one.

Guess who speaks a lot?
No its not you, it’s my mind,
It’s always into something,
It doesn’t do what I tell,
It has its own world,
The world you don’t want to interfere,
So the things that I say is not what I want to say,
Sorry if I hurt you, but it’s my brain!
A little complicated thing to understand

And now there is again previous silent,
Except my computer is playing another version of zombie.
I wonder how many versions of that song exists,
… I guess a lot.

All of a sudden this thing is striking my mind,
Am I sounding like a girl? Fuck.
I don’t give a damn,
Because, I like what I’m writing,
And it’s like talking without thinking first,
My dad always tells me,
Think twice before you speak,
I know what he’s trying to say,
I totally understand it,
But I just don’t follow it,
Its like knowing cigarettes are injurious to your health,
And still you smoke it. Why? You’d want to answer me first.

My sister is hunger,
She’s looking for some food to eat,
But she is not finding anything,
Its not that there’s nothing in the kitchen,
But all the things that we have in the kitchen needs to be prepared,
So there is no fast food, junk food for her to eat,
And she’s only 11.

I bet she’ll not be like me because she’s different,
Well different in a sense that I grew up differently that her,
In a Poverty,
It was real hard for me to survive,
All those kids with nice things to wear,
Nice things to eat,
And I used to sit on the lousy school bench,
Open up the Tiffin and eat the bread and whatever…
But in a way that was good,
Because that made me a thinker,
Made me wonder why we were like that?
And now where are we?

I look around me and find different faces,
Some are looking at me,
Other just don’t give a damn for me,
Its like you are lost and half of them want to help you,
And other half don’t want to help you,
So you got the choice,
Either to get help,
Or to get lost,
You know what I will choose,
Yes, to get lost.
Lost in the strange world,
Where the things around you cannot get anymore stranger

I scrolled up,
Looked at the topic and I’m thinking why did I put that topic called zombie.
It’s not suitable. But if I change it right now then,
There wouldn’t point of writing this paragraph, isn’t it?
So let it be like that.

Oh I was in too deep with my thoughts,
I didn’t knew,
The play list is over,
Now what?
Matchbox20?
I guess not,

My dad’s home and I’m going to ask him for some money,
Of course for some cigarettes,
My girlfriend always insist me on to quit it,
But I just don’t want to. Ok?

Sometimes I feel like a bum in front of her,
She did lots of things to keep me happy,
And look at me,
I can’t even complete her request.
Well he’s here, so wish me luck!
Going to get Rs.100.

go ahead, keep on doing that honey!

you know..... this was not ment to be written, but after reading someone's journal in hi5 it forced me.... its not that i'm feeling all lonely and emo, but it made me feel a certain way that i can't explain. even though i have yet to find out what happened to him, or did he really existed or was it (HE) just an imagination, i'm so pulled into it. and i .. i can't escape! which is good for me by the way because i have all these spare time that i need to spend, if not for this; then i would be doing some shaking and zipping right now, or just smoking another ciggie.(i'm gonna smoke after this anyway) ha ahh.. so anyway, that journal is a real eye opener for me. I never thought ppl can be so lost without someone they loved so much. or without in love too..?(i'm confused.. yet to find out) Yes, love is powerful, it can bring smile on your face in one second and tears in another. I really salute that kind of closeness and love and lovers. but the point i'm trying to tell is not that. its all good about love and how it makes people feel... its all good. we all know. the point is this; she was in love and suddenly he was gone *home*. now she can never bring him back and never tell him how she really felt. I think he knew too that she loved her, but she just didn't show...insted she went to be all smart and acted like she wanted to hurt him by all those bike riding wit his frens and talking...wit his frens. Man really gets hurt when his loved one does that, even tho he knows she's just playing with his mind... ask me all about it!!! may be thats why he ran away on his b'day treat.. but he came back for you, didn't he? you remind me of myself through that guy okay/? i hope to die too.. so that she can feel my NON PRESENCE and actually want my presence with her. but why would i do that? whenever she hurts me, i just tell right infront of her face not to do that kind of things... so may be she doesn't have so many things left to play with my mind, may be she's getting bored wit me now...and may be she's leaving me step by step..so that she doesn't get hurt... only she knows. so i'm afraid and insecure... you make me feel that way. i don't mean to judge you or my mimi, but you lost it. BIG TIME. don't ever make your man feel like he's not the one for you and he cannot make you feel happy and cheerful. if its true then tell him, he won't mind, but please don''t tell those stuffs just to play with his mind.. okay? its already jumbled up! can't you see.??? all the tensions from his best frens trying to get you, all the "galli ko KTA haru" trying to fuck you and make you worthless, all those family troubles he's been going through just because he cannot do well in his exams...now he has to go abroad to study, all his troubled frens going to jail for a night, all those pocket money problems, all those problems from his mobile phones and recharge cards that he's been spending just to call you are sending you lots and lots of smss. he already have enough problems of his own and he's doing his best to keep you from harm's way...and troubles. he hates when you talk to others and guys from yur "galli". why can't you see that? you just want to play. its ok. he can play if you want to. but its not enough, he has to lose! even its okay. he can sacrifice that game of yours for you. BUT............... BUT you get all sad and worried when sometime he makes a mistake... is it fair.? i mean human makes mistake and human gets jealous, so sometimes you may feel he's hurting you by walking away from you or not talking wit you or not replying your smss etc etc... but doesn't he have the right? did you forget all those times you played with his mind? did you forget you took a lift from his fren who is also trying to hit on you and you both knew? anyway, i'm not trying to say that you are bad or anything... i'm just being truthful. you need to understand men before you try to break him, even unwantedly. it may break him in REAL. see, there is only a thin line between hurting somebody and TRYING to hurt somebody. and sometimes that line cannot be seen or felt by the one who's hurt. so.... AND I HAVE MY FULL SYMPATHY FOR YOU... FOR YOUR LOSS, AND FOR YOUR LOVE. May he can feel it up there.

-superman

like i care

why does it always hurts when someone leaves you?
someone you love...
but i don't care anymore...
i've found something which is far more better than all those human and materails combined, not gonna tell you what is it. just wait, and you might get one of yours!

TC everyone.